Of One Accord: Discovering the Power of Unity in Your Home
A reflection on the eve of Pentecost
I rise early, prepare my French-pressed coffee, and sit on the porch with the rain quietly drizzling. I open my Bible and fellowship with God. This idyllic picture of communion is a snapshot of what our personal time with God can look like.
Fast forward forty-five minutes.
I am yelling up the stairs for the last child to get ready and get in the car. I shovel half-empty cereal bowls into the sink and shove closed a dishwasher I never actually finished loading. I pour the dregs of the French press into a travel mug and dash out the door. The kids squabble over whose turn it is to ride in the front and which worship song we'll play first on the morning drive. In the middle of all of it, I fight for the discipline to open the Bible app, read our next portion of Scripture together, and pray for our day.
The contrast between the peace of personal devotion and the battle to eke out a moment of centering Scripture and prayer with my kids could not be sharper. But it is worth it. The family that prays together really does stay together.
Scripture affirms unity as a central value — a key that unlocks manifold kingdom blessing when contended for. That is why so much of the Word emphasizes its worth, and why the devil and his minions rage to destroy it wherever it is present. C. S. Lewis saw this with rare clarity. In The Screwtape Letters, the senior demon Screwtape writes to his junior nephew Wormwood with instructions for corrupting his "patient." Letter 3 is devoted entirely to sabotaging the patient's relationship with his mother — and Screwtape's strategy is striking. He doesn't recommend dramatic blowups. He recommends the small stuff:
"When two humans have lived together for many years it usually happens that each has tones of voice and expressions of face which are almost unendurably irritating to the other. Work on that... build up between you in that house a good settled habit of mutual annoyance."
That is the enemy's playbook for the home. Not catastrophe. Just a slow, settled habit of mutual annoyance. The eyebrow raise. The sigh. The under-the-breath comment. Daily corrosion until the unity that once felt natural feels impossible.
I write this on the eve of Pentecost — the historic Christian holiday that recalls the outpouring of the Spirit in the upper room and the overflow of witness into Jerusalem. And it is worth noting what Luke says about the disciples in the hours before that outpouring:
"When the day of Pentecost arrived, they were all together in one place." — Acts 2:1 (ESV)
The Greek word translated "together" in the broader passage (and rendered "of one accord" in older translations) is homothumadon — a compound word meaning, roughly, "of one passion" or "one rushing mind." It appears repeatedly in Acts to describe the early church at prayer. Before the Spirit fell, they were of one accord. Unity preceded the outpouring. Unity hosted the fire.
The Value of Unity
Throughout Scripture, unity is presented not as a sentimental nicety but as a practical force.
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!... And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him — a threefold cord is not quickly broken." — Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 (ESV)
A single strand snaps. Two strands resist. Three strands woven together — picture a husband, a wife, and the Spirit of God — are not quickly broken.
Jesus made the same point from the opposite direction. When His enemies accused Him of casting out demons by the power of demons, He responded:
"Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand." — Matthew 12:25 (ESV)
It is a telling defense. Even the kingdom of darkness, Jesus implies, holds together by some form of unity. If a fractured house cannot stand, neither can a fractured marriage, a fractured family, or a fractured church.
And the inverse is also true. Unity multiplies. Jesus said:
"Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them." — Matthew 18:19–20 (ESV)
When two agree, the Father acts. That is not a metaphor. That is a promise.
Unity in the Home
We talk often about unity across the body of Christ, or unity across a city. I want to press in on something narrower and harder: unity inside the four walls of your own house.
My wife received a diagnosis of cancer in July of last year. We have four children — ages 14, 11, 10, and 9. We are in the middle of planting a church. And in this season more than any other, I have come to see that unity in our home is not a luxury. It is oxygen. It is what allows discernment in financial decisions, faith in medical decisions, and presence with the kids when everything in me wants to retreat.
When my wife and I have unity in heart and mind, we have access to something Paul describes this way:
"For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ." — 1 Corinthians 2:16 (ESV)
We carry that mind jointly. What I cannot lift on my own in the spirit becomes possible through our agreement.
Malachi closes the Old Testament with a sobering word about generational unity:
"Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction." — Malachi 4:5–6 (ESV)
The Spirit of Elijah is a generationally reconciling spirit. And it is no accident that the next generation — Elisha — carried a double portion of that anointing. When the hearts of fathers and children are knit together, the next generation inherits more, not less.
If you want the multiplying effect of unity in your household — increased discernment, greater effectiveness in prayer, a greater measure of God's favor on your children — it is worth fighting for.
Three Practices for Walking in One Accord
Let me offer three very practical disciplines that I am still learning to operate in.
1. Practice forgiveness, constantly.
Disunity rarely arrives all at once. It seeps in through unresolved offenses that calcify into bitterness. Paul gives a remarkably specific instruction:
"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil." — Ephesians 4:26–27 (ESV)
Don't let a day elapse where bitterness takes root. And take seriously what Hebrews warns about what happens when we do:
"See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled." — Hebrews 12:15 (ESV)
A root of bitterness doesn't just defile the one carrying it. It defiles many. So forgive quickly. Forgive specifically. Forgive again tomorrow.
2. Press past the mundane into shared spiritual activity.
Many of us maintain a personal devotional life. Translating that into shared moments of family Scripture and prayer is an entirely different battle — and an essential one. Paul writes:
"...eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." — Ephesians 4:3 (ESV)
Unity has to be maintained. That word implies effort and attention. For my kids and me lately, that has looked like reading a short portion of Philippians on the way to school — sometimes only five minutes — and talking about what it means. For my wife and me, that has looked like fighting for time in the morning to pray together over the decisions and circumstances that are heaviest in this season. None of it is glamorous. All of it matters.
3. Pray for things bigger than yourselves.
This may sound counterintuitive after the previous point, but it is essential. A vision for what God wants to do in a city or a generation has a way of drawing a family together. When you are praying for things smaller than your unity, your disagreements feel large. When you are praying for things larger than yourselves, the small things shrink to their actual size.
The Lord's Prayer holds both. Give us this day our daily bread — the God of the small story, who knows the number of hairs on our head. Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory — the God of the cosmos, who knows the names of every star and counts them all.
"He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names." — Psalm 147:4 (ESV)
"But even the hairs of your head are all numbered." — Matthew 10:30 (ESV)
A family that prays in both directions — for daily bread and for the kingdom — discovers a unity that the daily friction of life cannot easily break.
An Invitation
So practice forgiveness. Press past the mundane into shared Scripture and prayer. Lift your eyes to a vision larger than your household. And watch what God does with a house that stands together.
Tonight at Pentecost ATL — our annual flagship gathering — the theme is Of One Accord. We will be contending in prayer for unity across denominations, generations, and cultures. There will be a segment where our kids get to pray together. Bring your whole family. Come hungry
Let's be a house united that stands.
Amen.
Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Quotation from The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis, © 1942.
